“I feel like any minute they will find me out… I'm a fraud…I shouldn't be doing this job...”
Imposter Syndrome
Fred’s story:
He was a Deputy Head in a primary school with more than 20 years of experience, arriving at 7am each day, often working late and at the weekend. A kindly and talented man, with a wonderful way of relating to and encouraging his pupils in his deprived school, he secretly lived with feelings of inadequacy and a constant fear of receiving an OFSTED phone call announcing their inspection visit. The job, and his home life had gradually been robbed of all joy.
He had regular nightmares of vultures swooping down, pecking at him, dissecting his mind and body, opening up his vulnerabilities with cruel criticisms. He found he was unable to identify any achievements regardless of how hard he worked, and constantly experienced a knot of anxiety and heart palpitations. He doubted his ability to do the job, feeling that he was not good enough.
When the OFSTED inspection was finally completed (and graded higher than the previous one) he was unable to recall any positive comments, and was, instead, distraught about the list of required improvements. Exhausted and disheartened, he succumbed to a nasty bout of flu leaving him with time to think about the impact of Imposter Phenomenon (otherwise known as Imposter Syndrome)
So what is Imposter Phenomenon (IP)?
Apparently, 70% of us will, at some point in our life time, suffer from IP (Watts and Morgan, 2015) and typically, might experience one or more of the following features:
1. The Impostor Cycle...
A person undertaking a task experiences a crisis of self-doubt – fight/flight symptoms and nightmares may occur – They slog away, over-preparing in an almost frenzied manner – this leads to success and positive feedback – the belief that ‘I must continue working in this way to succeed’ is reinforced – the cycle begins again.
2. Introversion…
Introverted persons are much more likely to have high IP scores (Lawler, 1984).
3. Dread of Evaluation…
An assumption that others will know all that they don't know.
4. Terror of Failure...
Fear of looking stupid and experiencing shame and humiliation
5. Guilt About Success…
Unable to own success believing it to be undeserved.
6. Great Difficulty in Internalising Positive Feedback…
They do not experience excitement when there is a success as they don’t believe it is justified.
7. Generalized Anxiety…
All areas of life are affected
8. Overestimating Others While Underestimating Oneself…
They notice success and strength in others and compare themselves negatively, undervaluing their own abilities and overestimates others' assets.
9. Defining Intelligence in a Distorted way…
They believe myths about intelligence and what constitutes intelligence
10. False and Non-affirming Messages from childhood...
Negative historic experiences remain the narrative (ie a failed test at school or negative comment from a person in authority (Clance and O’Toole, 1988)
This video clip is a reminder that we are not alone if this is something we are experiencing:
What can you do about IP?
It might be that therapy or coaching is necessary to untangle the beliefs we have absorbed about ourselves from childhood and reframe the internalised scripts. If this is something that you are interested in, please do get in touch.
Something to consider:
If you knew that everyone else around you had the same lack of confidence and self-doubt as you, what difference would that make to you?
Something to try out:
· Choose 5 people whose opinion you trust.
· Ask them the five questions listed below (this is more impactful face to face than via email but can still be beneficial if written).
· Repeat their answers out loud to reinforce these messages ie (‘My greatest strength is attention to detail which makes me a dependable team member’)
· Reflect on what comes up for you as you try to digest this information
· Remind yourself of these positives when anxiety starts to flare
How would you describe me in one word or phrase? |
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What do you think is my greatest achievement? |
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What do you value most about me? |
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What one thing could I change for my own benefit? |
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What do you believe to be my greatest strength? |
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(Watts and Morgan, 2015)
Challenging and replacing negative thoughts can take time – it be helpful to keep a note of negative self-talk and consider what the evidence for this thought is. Is this something you would like to try? Do get in touch.
Further reading:
· For an IP questionnaire, see p.6: https://www.paulineroseclance.com/pdf/ip_internal_barrier_to_empwrmnt_and_achv.pdf
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